Randomness: A Random Tale
by toeragssssss
Summary: Harry is angsty so he explodes stuff. With Rabid bunnies and Mary-sues. Warning: Extreme randomness. You have been warned. Rated T for language.
1. Extreme Randomness of Randomly Random

**Disclaimer: **I'm sick of these aren't you? So I'm just gonna skip to the author's note now…

A/N: I decided to do a parody/humor because on the inside I'm going insane with all this seriousness. Rated T for language. Warning: Extreme randomness. You have been warned, bitches.

Chapter One: Extreme Randomness of Randomly Random

Harry Potter was using his wand. No not that wand you dirty-minded asswipes.

He was feeling angsty and decided to blow things up.

"Bombarda, Bombarda!" he yelled at a random person whose head exploded complete with explosion noises.

"Awesome!" said Harry suddenly feeling better.

"_**Exploding rampage!" **_he yelled, "EXPLODACUS BUTTACUS!" he screamed to Ginny who Slyther-Claw-proud decided to take out of this story because she didn't feel like dealing with her anymore.

Ginny exploded and her bit were scattered around the Gryffindor Common Room. Her last words were 'I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME, HARRY. BUT I WAS WRONG SO, FUCK YOU.'

With indifference Harry screamed, 'Byz Ginerva!'

He skipped merrily down the halls of Hogwarts and out of nowhere pulled out a bazooka and started shooting the wall. Once all his anger was gone, the bazooka _poofed _out of his hands.

Starting to feel angsty again, he walked into the great hall and saw a random food fight going on.

Suddenly, the roof split open and out came the giant face of Slyther-Claw-proud, she said,

"MUAHAHA! I WILL UNLEASH MARY-SUES AND RABID BUNNIES ON YOU, FOR I CANNOT FIGURE OUT WERE TO TAKE THIS NONSENSE STORY!" Then she disappeared and rabid-sues(they were basically the same thing anyways) dropped out of the sky and started mauling people's faces off.

Amongst the crown of rabid-sues, Harry saw-

"_RABID-SUE HERMIONE!"_

To be continues if the author actually wants to continue this piece of crap… 

A/N: Flames accepted and encouraged! Tell me how much you hated it/ if it was funny. Any ideas for the continuation of this? If you do you get a virtual cake!


	2. RabidSue Hermione!

**Disclaimer**: You figure out what belongs here.

A/N: I decided to continue this since I have major writers' block. Writing nonsense and stuff always clears my mind and IQ points. 0_0

Part 2: Rabid-Sue Hermione!

Harry gasped overdramatically. Oh no, there couldn't be a Rabid-Sue Hermione!

"Ah, but there is!" screamed R-S (for short) Hermione, as if she could read minds without even training in the art of Legilimency, "You know how they some horrible writers always make me all perfect and stuff? Well here I am so perfect that I melt un-perfect peoples' eyeballs off!"

At that, many peoples' eyeballs melt and/or burn off.

"AHHHHH! MY EYES!" yell many people. "WHAT IS THE CAUSE OF THIS?"

"Muahahaha! And now I will create a perfect world with perfect people and perfect Mary-Sues!" screamed R-S Hermione beautifully and crazily, if that's possible.

Suddenly the doors to the great hall burst open, and in the doorway stands someone: Regular not perfect Hermione!

"Regular not perfect Hermione! You've come to save us!" said Harry.

"Yes, yes I have," she said, and a flame thrower appeared in her hands, "I'VE COME TO DESTORY ALL RABID-SUES AND MY RABID-SUE COUNTERPART!" She started running towards her R-S counterpart, the flame thrower on, and sometimes hitting innocent bystanders, melting their faces off, and sometimes hitting multiple R-Cs.

"Say goodbye to your life R-C!" said regular not perfect Hermione.

"EEP!" said R-C Hermione awes-mazingly, if that's a word.

"No, that's not a word, Slyther-Claw," said regular not perfect Hermione.

Well, excuse me for not having a thesaurus in my brain!

"Your excused!" said Harry, speaking for the second time this chapter.

IT WAS A RETORICAL, YOU ASS! Then, Harry was magically thrown out of the Great Hall, while protesting "I was only trying to !"

Regular Hermione took her flame-thrower and pointed it directly at R-C Hermione.

"Bye, bye you, Mary-Sue!"

And then melted the Rabid-Sue.

"Noooooooooooooo! I'm !" Screamed R-C Hermione. Soon, R-C Hermione was a puddle on the floor, and all the rabid bunnies and Mary-Sues were gone. Harry had somehow appeared back in the Hall, much to the puzzlement of the readers. Ginny Weasley still wasn't back though, because Slyther-Claw still dislikes her, she is so awful in Slyther-Claw's opinion, "I'm an author, not a Miracle worker. So, I can't make her less awful then she is, therefore, I erased her from this story."

The End…?

A/N: Wow, that really relieved me of my Writers' Block! Expect my other serious stories to be updated, if I can manage to gain my IQ points back! Remember, say what you think about this fic, whether it be awful, funny, etc….


End file.
